My attempt at writing a book

Okay so the title pretty much says it all for now, I haven't come up with a name for it yet so I'm just gonna leave it like that till I find one. Oh, and also, any tips will be very appreciated.
WARNING: this is my first time EVER to write a book so it'll probably fail miserably but at least I tried:P
*starts having nervous breakdown* Okay, here I go...

Hillary WitherHeart

Mackenzie WitherHeart

Taylor

Chapter 1: The WitherHearts
(part one)

'Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!' My hand hit the snooze button, I sleepily took off my bed sheets then made my way to the bathroom. I quickly washed my face then changed out of my pajamas and into my favorite black dress. I brushed out my long, black hair then started to make my way to the living room.
"Hillary dear, is that you?" asked my mom, she was sitting in a chair in the living room.
"Yeah mom, it's me." I replied.
"Theres some eggs in the fridge, would you be a dear and fry some for breakfast?"
"Sure mom."
I then went into the kitchen, it wasn't her fault she couldn't cook, she has been blind ever since she gave birth to my sister, Mackenzie. I took the the eggs out of the fridge, cracked them in the pan, then started to cook them. After a few minutes I finished cooking the eggs and put one on each plate.
"Breakfast!" I yelled down the hall.
A few seconds later a girl with long brown hair and golden brown eyes came running down the hall.
"Morning mom, morning Hillary." She said happily.
Mackenzie was a morning person, me? Not so much.
"Morning dear." Replied my mom as she got up out of her chair.
Just then Rocky, our golden lab, came running up to her, he barked happily to let her know he was there. Rocky's more then just our dog, he's my mom's guide dog. My mom kneeled down and petted him, she then grabbed his collar and he led her to the table. She took her seat. Just then I put the plates on the table and took my seat, Mackenzie sat beside me.
"Thanks for making breakfast." My mom said,
"Yeah thanks!" Added Mackenzie.
"No problem." I said with a smile.
After breakfast I headed back to my room, it was Mackenzie's turn to do the dishes. Once back in my room I started to pack my backpack, expecting the day to go as planned...

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Wolfy on June 22, 2012 at 2:37pm

Remind me again why you are nervous?!? That's better then my book!

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Permalink Reply by Julia Bieber on June 22, 2012 at 2:38pm

Really?!? Your such a great friend:)

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Permalink Reply by Wolfy on June 22, 2012 at 2:43pm

Thanks :)
Here's a tip from an inexperienced writer.
Try not to write the same word a lot. You used 'dear' many times. Try
using different words to express the same feeling. Like 'sweetheart'
and other words like that. :) hope that helps :)