The Christian Crusaders: The Desert Journey
I am writing a book and I will be posting it on this discussion.(I am so excited!) So the story behind my story is interesting. I just started typing a paragraph because i was going to show my dad something on the internet and i came up with the prologue that you are going to be reading. I had no intentions of it being a story, but here I am. This is my very first time doing this so I may not post the chapters very fast, but I will try my best. That's about all, so I hope you enjoy reading my book.
Oh, and one more thing. I am not tyring to be or anything, but those of you who read this please do not take any parts or ideas from my book. Thanks and enjoy!
Characters
Clayton:
Kylie:
Jason:
Zafar:
Joseph Koney: He is a real person and is really, really bad. I mean bad.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Dub Kid on -
yeah. I said that in one of the first few chapters. it was in chapter five.
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Permalink Reply by BladeAngel on -
Need more here!
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Permalink Reply by Dub Kid on
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Chapter Sixteen
I suddenly felt a burning anger building up inside me like a newly kindled fire. Joseph Kony was one person I disliked very much, even hated. I remembered when we were once good friends when we were in the army. We had both served alongside each other and he had been one of my closest friends until he was caught smuggling weapons to a notorious gang. The gang was growing rapidly and soon turned into a rebel army. Kony was to be transported to a prison, but on the way, the convoy was ambushed by the rebels and Kony got away. After they had freed Kony, they made him their leader and ever since then, the army had been growing. It needed desperately to be stopped, but I turned my mind back to the situation at hand and remembered all that was at stake.
“Put him through.” My voice was calm, but my face showed my true feelings.
“Yes sir.” The radio man replied and then put the transmission through to Zafar’s helicopter.
“Guess who Zafar?” The voice asked over the radio.
My face turned grim. “Joseph Kony.” I said slowly. “How could I forget you?”
“You don’t see very happy to hear me?”
“I have no reason to be happy. You just made my day worse.
“Let me guess. You were looking for three Americans that crashed in a plane, but you didn’t find them.”
“H-how did you know?”
“Because I have them.” He said bluntly.
“B-but how?” I asked.
Kony ignored his question. “I could give them to you……”
“For what?” I asked suspiciously.
“Oh, for just a small fee of, say, three million dollars.” Kony said with a hint of pleasure in his voice. He obviously was enjoying the fact that he had the advantage over Zafar.
“Three million dollars!”
“Three million dollars.” Kony replied.
“That’s outrageous.”
“Take it or leave it. Either you bring the money to my base in two days or I will execute them.”
I took some thought about the circumstances and I sighed. “Alright, you win.” I could just imagine Kony with a big evil grin on his face just relishing the moment. He was going to be a rich man.
“Good, very good.” Kony said sounding unusually evil. I will send you the coordinates to my base. The transmission ended and all we got was static. It was now up to us save Clayton and his friends. The question was could we get that much money in time?
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Permalink Reply by Mina on -
*gasps* I finally caught up and it's totally awesome!!
I was wondering if you wouldn't mind a little critique? You see your story can be a bit confusing sometimes, because you keep flashing from the characters view. (example: I walked to the store) To a person describing someone. (example: He walked to the store) It would be a bit easier if you wrote from just one of those perspectives.
Just thought I should tell you, I'm not saying you need to use it.
Great job
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Permalink Reply by Dub Kid on
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ohhhhhh. I see what you mean. I totally get what you're saying. Thanks for pointing that out. As i told someone else, there is always room for correction.
I will try and implement that as i write.
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Permalink Reply by ElderBow on -
Oh yeah, a few questions: Did you make the cover yourself? Are you going too get this published? How many chapters do you plan this to be?
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Permalink Reply by Dub Kid on
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i found the pic on google and then i added words to it. Yes i do plan to have this published when i get older. On how many chapter it will have i do not know. I'll just have to see when i finish writing it. Before i publish my book, i'd probally need to expand the chapter's because if you look at other chapter books the chapters are way longer.
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Permalink Reply by ElderBow on
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Yeah, that's what I said in the beggining remember? I said you would probably need to expand the chapters.
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