The Christian Crusaders: The Desert Journey
I am writing a book and I will be posting it on this discussion.(I am so excited!) So the story behind my story is interesting. I just started typing a paragraph because i was going to show my dad something on the internet and i came up with the prologue that you are going to be reading. I had no intentions of it being a story, but here I am. This is my very first time doing this so I may not post the chapters very fast, but I will try my best. That's about all, so I hope you enjoy reading my book.
Oh, and one more thing. I am not tyring to be or anything, but those of you who read this please do not take any parts or ideas from my book. Thanks and enjoy!
Characters
Clayton:
Kylie:
Jason:
Zafar:
Joseph Koney: He is a real person and is really, really bad. I mean bad.
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Permalink Reply by Dub Kid on -
Chapter Seventeen
We all huddled close to each other in the cage. The day was beginning to fade and it was starting to get colder. Even though we couldn’t hear each other, we all knew that we all were silently praying that we would be safe and rescued soon.
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Kony walked out of the radio room and out of the building. He quickly walked to the cage pit where a guard was standing. As Kony approached him, he quickly stood at attention.
“Remove the covering and bring up the cage.” Kony commanded.
“Yes sir.” The guard replied and began removing the covering that was over the hole. After it was removed and out of the way, the guard went to the lever and pushed it forward.
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The covering over the pit was suddenly pulled off and the cage gave a lurch as it started its ascent. As we got closer to the surface I could see someone looking down at us. It was no doubt Kony. To my displeasure, it was.
The cage continued to move upward and I stood up. It came to a stop and Kony and I locked eyes. I glared at him until I couldn’t stand him. Who could stand to look at a face that ugly anyways?
Kony finally broke the silence. “I just came from talking to Zafar?” He said.
I looked up at the mention of Zafar’s name. “You know him?”
“Unfortunately yes, we served alongside each other in the army.”
I looked away. I never knew that before, but then again, I hadn’t seen Zafar for ten years. We would have a lot to catch up on….if we ever made it out of this alive.
“Now back to the point. You three are being held for ransom.” He grinned evilly. Unless Zafar brings the money……all of you are going to be executed.”
Kylie let a small gasp. We knew there was a chance of dying, but we had never thought we would be executed. “What a way to go.” I thought to myself. I tried to think on the positive side. There was still a chance for us to be rescued.
“How much are we being ransomed for?” I asked grimly.
Kony spoke kind of slowly. “You’re being ransomed for three million dollars.”
I was silent for a moment and then I spoke. “At least you think we’re worth that much.”
Kony glared at me. I was surprised I had the nerve to glare back. “Lower the cage back down.” He ordered.
The cage began descending and the cover was put over the pit. We were now covered in darkness…again.
I need your guy's opinions on this chapter. Did I write it okay, because to me, my writing seems a little bad on this chapter.
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Permalink Reply by BladeAngel on -
I think its awesome cant wait for more! :)
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Permalink Reply by Dub Kid on
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thanks. we're actually getting close to the end of the book. But guess what? there's going to be a second one!!!!!
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Permalink Reply by BladeAngel on
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Awesome i'm working on the 2nd one too ^~^
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Permalink Reply by BladeAngel on
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It up case you wanna read it
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Permalink Reply by Dub Kid on
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okay, but i kind of like finishing books in order. So yah, but I may start reading it.
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Permalink Reply by BladeAngel on
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Its called - The Fairoze: Revenge of the StarChaos
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Permalink Reply by Mina on -
I think you did very well! Here is a favourite quote of mine from a very smart person. "If you gets authors block, kill off one of your characters or make something epic happen. Not only does it get you moving again it'll really captivate your readers." Note: this is something that works for me. (hence all the characters in my books that die.
).
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Permalink Reply by Dub Kid on
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thanks. i was thinking about adding something unexpected. I might add it in after the next chapter.
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Permalink Reply by BladeAngel on
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Me cant wait then :)
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Permalink Reply by Silver Phoenix on -
I think you did pretty good. It was a little bit dry but I didn't mind. :)
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